


There is love even after heartbreaks

by lapetitechouette



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arranged Marriage, Both are heartbroken, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28380414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapetitechouette/pseuds/lapetitechouette
Summary: Hanji Zoë and Levi Ackerman are two individuals who are broken. Two broken people are arranged to marry. Will they discover love for the second time?
Relationships: Levi & Hange Zoë, Levi/Hange Zoë, Levi/Petra Ral, Moblit Berner/Hange Zoë
Comments: 57
Kudos: 155





	1. Chapter 1

Today was a joyful day for both the Ackermans and Zoës. It was the special occasion of the two families joining; the only daughter of the Zoës weds the only son of the Ackermans. Wedding music played in the background while people laughed and chatted merrily as they await the arrival of the bride and groom. The mood around was jolly and everyone was anticipating this engagement between the two families.

Hanji Zoë was seated in the room close to the wedding hall. She could hear the voices of the guests invited by the both families. She sighed, the day she never looked forward was here. Her parents had gone far enough to organize a grand wedding as it was their dream to see their only daughter sent off grandly. A day, she quoted, 'an unforgettable day without regrets.' Hanji only agreed because she did not want to sadden her parents. Seeing her getting married was their only dream as of recently. 

Nanaba added the final touch as she pinned the veil on Hanji's hair and then offered the bride a soft smile through the mirror. Hanji sighed and smiled back not because she was nervous or excited but simply for the obligation of not worrying anyone. She knew that Nanaba knows her dissatisfaction regarding this marriage. No, it was not the groom's fault. It was just that Hanji was not ready to marry yet. After five years of succumbing into depression and slowly coming out of it she realized that in suffering by herself she had made the people around her suffer as well. So, when her parents brought in the marriage proposal Hanji decided to go with it knowing that she had nothing to look forward in life anymore and all she could do was comply with her parents decisions to make them happy. At least she could afford to see her parents smile.

"Maybe this would be a start for a new life, Han." Nanaba rested her chin on Hanji's shoulder and looked at her through the mirror. Hanji looked back at her and without a word she nodded her head with a gentle smile genuinely thankful for her friend's concern over her. Nanaba now stood and readjusted her veil. "You look beautiful, Han. I want nothing more but happiness for you." She lifted her head and patted her shoulder. She saw her friend trying to blink away her tears as she turned away from her gaze. She was indeed genuinely thankful for her friend but her heart was set on the fact that happiness would never come her way after all what happened to her.

Hanji's mother entered the room shortly after Nanaba left. She smiled at the image of her daughter dressed in a wedding dress, the moment she and her husband had been waiting for. Hanji sighed noticing the tears that were starting well up in her mother's eyes as well, everyone was very emotional today. "Oh, mom!" Hanji whispered and stood up to pull the older woman into a hug. "We don't want your make up to ruin now, Adele." Hanji heard her father remark as he opened the door and joined to hug his family.

"I'm so happy for you, Hanji." The words of her father made her heart clench. As long as they were happy she was ready to do anything even if it is to marry a complete stranger. But, will she be happy? Everything they did was to ensure her happiness in the future but will this really bring happiness towards her? She closed her eyes and hugged her parents even tighter. She did imagine this day would come but in her imagination the man who stood besides her was not the man standing besides her today. She drew a deep breath to not let tears fall but her heart clenched in a painful way reminding her that her dream would never become a reality.

"Erwin, Levi is missing." Farlan whispered almost panicking but tried to calm himself down as he had been looking all over the place for the said man. If Levi was not here they would be dead. Kuchel for sure would go crazy and then there would be chaos with the soon to be in laws. They would not want to go through such problems and Farlan already felt his head burst with the amount of issues that would happen of the groom is missing.

"This is bad. The wedding starts in 20 minutes we have to find him." Erwin said patting his shoulders and understanding the turmoil in his head. Without Levi there would be no wedding but something inside Erwin told that Levi would be there soon enough, he for sure would not want to disappoint his mother. "I'll go ask Kuchel." He added after an afterthought. 

"You don't have to." Replied a deep baritone voice. Erwin and Farlan turned to look at the man who was dressed in a black suit and bow tie, his black hair was combed back. About time, Erwin thought with a smirk. Despite knowing this short man's dislike over this marriage yet he would not want to ever see his mother's heartbreak. The groom looked absolutely dashing but the scowl on his face was not very appealing. Erwin shook his head and approached the man with Farlan who was seething in anger.

"Levi, where have you been?" Farlan asked getting closer with invisible smoke escaping his nose and ears, getting closer to the man he smelled a bit of Clorox from the shorter man. "Wait, don't tell me you have been cleaning?" Farlan asked in disbelief while Erwin rolled his eyes in amusement. Knowing Levi for decades obviously they should be knowing what a clean freak Levi was.

"Cleaning helps me get things off my mind." Came Levi's simple reply with a deadpan, well, for a fact, his friends knew this fun fact about him but nevertheless decided to amuse them with an answer instead of silent treatment. "I believe we have a wedding to get on with." He said rather unenthusiastically, not with the usual excitement a groom would have. Any groom, on their wedding day would be dead excited to get married but not him.

Levi's mother, Kuchel Ackerman was getting sicker day by day and her only wish had been to see her son married and see little versions of him run about here and there but most of all she really did want to see her son get married and leave him in the arms of a woman who would take care of him till the end. Levi, not wanting to break his poor mother's heart decided to comply to her wishes. He loved his mother so much that he willingly accepted the very first proposal his mother brought to him even without looking how his future spouse would look like. He did not care either way and his only goal was bringing happiness to his mother even if it costs his.

"Levi, where have you been?" His mother whispered as they now stood by the altar. They had ten minutes before the bride walks in. "Nevermind now." Kuchel smiled and pushed him towards the altar. "Go stand there. She'll come now." She threw her tow thumbs up and smiled widely and excitingly. Levi softened up and returned a small smile before turning away from them and looked at the pastor who was waiting for the announcement of the bride's arrival to be made.

Kenny snickered at his short nephew loud enough. "Well. Well. The day has finally come. Little man is getting married." Levi glared at his uncle ignoring his words and tried to not turn behind and snap in front of the whole crowd. He knew better than to listen to his uncle who loved provoking him. His uncle after all was aware about Levi's displeasure on the whole affair and is only enduring this for his dear little mother.

After an eternity of ten minutes finally they announced the arrival of the bride. Levi turned to look at his soon to be wife, she was taller than him, she had brown hair. He could not see her eyes as they were looking down at her feet maybe not to trip over her gown or maybe at the bouquet. Either way he did not care. He looked at his father in law who was looking back at him with a proud smile. He heard words such as 'good match' 'she's a doctor he is a director of a huge corporation, surely a dream match' Levi scoffed inwardly at those words, when did occupation play a role in a good match? Everything was moving too fast for his liking. He extended his palm and accepted the hand that was placed upon his.

His tall bride now stood besides him and the pastor started speaking which Levi tuned out most of the time as his mind was occupied with thoughts of how things would have been different if the person he loved was the one besides him. His mind traced back to when he saw the very person on the altar besides him. She giggled and hugged his arm saying millions of 'I do.' but he had to snap back to reality. It was not the same. She was not the person besides him but rather a stranger. 

"Levi Ackerman, do you take Hanji Zoë to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Levi was asked but his mind being preoccupied did not catch these words thus leading to his best man Farlan nudge him slightly in discretion. Levi sighed knowing that the dreaded question had arrived. "Yes, I do." He said very coldly devoid of any emotion but maybe there was emotion there, reluctance or simply that his words meant the opposite 'No, I don't.'

"Hanji Zoë, do you take Levi Ackerman to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Levi turned to look at his wife who was given the same question with few words replaced. He saw a flash of the same hesitance and reluctance in her face as she struggled to articulate the same three words he said. _Good, we are the same boat. If you say no then I would not be the reason for my mom to feel sad. But surely she will find another woman but it would take her a while and I would be able to put it off._

"I do." She simply replied after few minutes earning a relief from the pastor and the he announced the couple as husband and wife earning the cries of joy from both his and her family. _Well, not everything goes to ones plans, now does it? Who was he to think that he'd be able to get away from this wedding._ While everyone was happy the newly weds had to sacrifice their own happiness for their family. They exchanged rings and a little peck to satisfy the audience since they started chanting 'kiss'. It was rather awkward and too quick but nevertheless satisfied the people. He held her hand and they got off the altar to greet their new family members.

This was the first time Hanji saw her groom- he was her husband now. He was shorter than her. She wondered if her parents even knew that her future husband was going to be shorter than her. Well, she did hear that he was one of the youngest director of the Survey Corps, a security agency, and that's all she knew about him. Now, off the altar and chatting with people they were soon separated by their friends dragging them away. Hanji never really minded because heck, she did not know him much and what were there for them to even speak and she had to laugh at this, bond.

Hanji refused any type of alcoholic beverage believing that she should be sober enough to not do anything stupid and after all she was going to spend a night with her husband and she does not want to do anything inappropriate with him. She did not know the man well so she had to learn what kind of man he is to not run into any trouble with him, she believed.

Levi's mother was a very wonderful person, Hanji mused. She spoke to her very kindly and raved on how beautiful Hanji was today. She could only smile in return and reply to her politely. This was the first time she met Kuchel despite the fact that their parents were the only one who met prior to this whole affair. A month ago they had made arrangements for this whole affair and today the fruition of their work was a success.

"Please, take care of my son. He might look cold but he is a good man." Kuchel said at last sniffing. Hanji not knowing what to do placed a hand on her shoulders to comfort her but the older woman laced her hands around Hanji and pull her into a hug. "You two should find the happiness you deserve." Her mother in law remarked as if she knew that Hanji was not happy but before Hanji could question the woman pulled away and blended into the crowd. She had wanted to tell something to her mother in law but her tongue was tied and she had no idea how to articulate the right words.

Levi did not live with his mother since his mother lived with Kenny. Levi could not stand living with Kenny thus opting him to buy a house few blocks away from them. He invited his mother to stay with him but she had told him that if she lived with Kenny she could keep him away from his obsession for gambling. He was sad at the fact that he could not take of his mother but still he trusted his uncle to take care of his mother as long as they were under the same roof.

Farlan drove the new couple to Levi's house after the wedding. Apparently Hanji's parents hired a limousine to drive them to the house. She was honestly baffled at the lengths her parents had gone through to make the wedding absolutely grand. If she had been marrying the man she loved then she would have really appreciated every seconds of today. Thanks to Nanaba and Mike, who had dropped her necessities in her husband's house, all she had to do was shower and go straight to bed. Bed! Well, fuck, she would have to share a bed with him. She looked at the man who now removed his tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. He looked so grumpy and mean. She kind of hate him already.

Levi's house only had two rooms, a living room, a dining room, two bathrooms and a kitchen. He preferred his house small since he spent rarely his time at home. One of the two rooms was his bed room and the other was his office. He considered emptying the office and giving to his wife since sleeping in the same room with a stranger did not seem very appealing but his mother was the one who supervised to rearrange the house to fit a couple so he could not do anything and obviously if he were to changes his mother would catch on and lecture him on how to be the perfect husband, which she did lecture him before the marriage. 

Levi did not utter a word but while she explored the house and discovered that there were two bathrooms: one in their bedroom and the other in front of the office Hanji decided to refresh herself there. He was grateful that she decided to choose the other bathroom and not stall her time while waiting for him. She did not expect to consummate the marriage, right? He did not know her but well, it would be weird to have sex with someone you just got acquainted with. But, in his case were they even acquainted? Because, they never spoke much to each other.

Levi took time to wash himself more than he usually did. By the time he returned to the bed room he saw the figure of Hanji on the bed facing the wall. He heard silent sobs and saw her shoulders shake. Was she crying? She will get shot on his beddings. Levi wanted to yell at her. He finally settled on his side of the bed and leaned back his head to the headboard.

"Oi, don't get snot on my pillow." He said rather rudely and switched off the lights. It was long day and he never thought that getting married was this tiring. She did not reply to him, not even a grunt or a hum. Sleep did not come to him easily not today, not ever. But today was a long day and he let himself succumb to exhaustion. He had work tomorrow and he has to be on time. Marriage, oh well, welcome to the married life, he thought and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Hanji opened her heavy and tired eyes from last night that spent the time letting tears flow out. She looked at the empty space besides her which was arranged neatly. The sky outside the window was still dark indicating that it was either late in night or early in the morning. She frowned thinking that her husband might have not slept besides her well, she did not really mind. But she was sure that she felt him slip besides her at the time she was bawling her eyes out.

The sound of the sudden flush from the bathroom made her immediately avert her gaze to the bathroom door and saw light seep from the bottom of the door. Hanji grabbed her mobile and checked for the time which read 4 a.m. She sat properly first collecting her wits realizing that she was married hours ago and she was no longer a single woman. Her head was pounding and she felt really tired.

Then she unlocked her phone and checked for messages. Being a doctor she was always on call duty and as a doctor who actively worked in the emergency room she was always ready for immediate surgeries. She checked for messages from the hospital, she did have a lot but most of them were congratulating her instead of reports on patients. She frowned and leaned back to the head board and rested her eyes trying calm herself down until she heard the door to the bathroom open.

She opened her eyes and met his silver scrutinising eyes on her. Without a word he walked into the walk-in-closet while Hanji got off the bed and entered the bathroom to freshen herself up. There was nothing wrong in going to the hospital early, she thought. She could check up on her patients although she entrusted them under Mike's care at the moment she still could not wait without checking up on them. She was only reassured when she checked up on her patients personally.

After getting into his suit Levi added the final touch by straightening his necktie. He looked at the mirror satisfied and entered the kitchen before throwing a look at the bathroom door. He shrugged. Maybe after work they could discuss conditions regarding their marriage. Something inside him told that she shared the mutual feeling of dislike regarding the marriage and that was a good sign for him to make negotiations.

He prepared pancake for himself and after a half an hour she walked out dressed up, seems like she was ready to head to work as well. Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail which opposed the neat bun he saw on her yesterday. He regarded her silently for few seconds before returning his eyes to his breakfast and continued eating silently.

He looked at the clock that read 5.23 a.m. It was time to leave he decided. He did not want to wait home any longer. It felt quite uncomfortable and he couldn't sleep well although he thought he would be capable to. He slept approximately for two hours, he assumed. He spent his time cleaning the already clean house and then had a wash to wash off the sweat that built up. " I hope we can have a civil conversation after work." He asked as he watched her open the refrigerator and pull out a juice box. She stopped her movements and turned to look at him. He just wanted get over with the whole thing so that he could return to his normal routine despite the presence of a new person in his daily life.

Looking elsewhere momentarily she returned her gaze to him. "Sure, but don't expect me early." She replied nonchalantly and returned to what she was doing. She did not know how to cook and she did not want to expose the fact as she searched for something edible from the refrigerator. As she sought out something to eat her thoughts lingered to their possible conversation later. He seemed to not be a threat, she thought but nevertheless decided to hold up her guard against him.

Levi, in the meantime shrugged and without a sound or word on his exit, left the kitchen and grabbed his stuff and left the house. After all his 'wife' did not seem much interested in knowing if he was going or not but maybe the sound of the door closing harshly was a sign he left for her. Either way he did not care and neither did she seem to.

Levi looked at the unfamiliar white car besides his which he assumed was his wife's. He did not see it yesterday maybe her friend must have left it here earlier before the wedding. All he knew about his wife was that she is a doctor. Heck! He didn't even know her name and he did not bother in learning it anyways. Maybe, they could come into a negotiation to divorce later in few months or in a year, a year just to satisfy his mother or maybe until her impending death. Levi sighed at the thought although he hated to admit it. He was aware that his mother would not be living long enough but still he did not want to admit the reality of it but still he will do everything to keep her happy even at the last mo,end of her breath.

Dr. Hanji earned stares from her colleagues as she walked down the corridors into the doctors office. Nifa, a nurse who worked closely with her approached her with her mouth wide open. "Wait, I literally saw you in a wedding gown few hours ago. Why are you already here? Head doctor Pixis gave you a week off." She remarked in shock. Well, Hanji did expect these questions from her coworkers but they also ought to know that this wedding was so sudden because Nifa was sporting the same face Hanji had announced her marriage to everyone in the hospital. Hanji vaguely recalled Nifa's words, _'I didn't know that you had a boyfriend or a fiancé.'_ Hanji shrugged and continued taking long strides towards the room but still the short red hair followed her and when she opened the door of the office she again earned the stares from her colleagues who let their jaw drop.

"Hanji." Nanaba called out standing immediately. Hanji noted that Nanaba was still in the bridesmaid gown from her wedding. Frowning Hanji asked, "Did you come here straight after the wedding?" she took her seat in front of her laptop and looked up at the tall blonde who was still standing. Nifa was speaking with Mike now but she could tell that they were listening to her.

Nanaba blushed throwing a quick glance at Mike which Hanji did not see of course since her focus was now averted to her laptop but still awaiting the answer from the blonde. "Nevermind me. You just got married, Han!" Nanaba exclaimed grabbing the new wife by her shoulders. Hanji pushed her hands from her shoulders and sent her a semi glare.

"Didn't you guys do it?" Lynne, the doctor in front of her asked raising her brows suggestively and her tone laced with teasings. Nanaba motioned her to cut it out when Hanji redirected the glare at the woman. "What!" Lynne's exclaimed silently at Nanaba who was continuously sending her sign ps to stop buy Hanji beat her at it by remarking coldly sending chills down everyone's spines even Mike who usually was not intimidated by Hanji. "You should have followed us to our room if you were curious." Hanji was a person with a nasty temper and everyone knew it so her remark froze them and nine of them opened their mouth until she left the office.

"Did I say anything wrong?" Lynne asked innocently now that Hanji left them. Of course, no one really knew what Hanji was going through. Mike and Nanaba and have been her friend for nearly ten years and thus knew her very well. They knew that though Hanji showed herself to be perfectly okay she was still grieving over the incident that happened five years ago. Nanaba shook her head at Mike signalling him to not to spill out any details regarding the issue. "Let's just say. Things are not going her way." Nanaba left it at that and walked into the changing room to change into her surgeon attire since she was called for a surgery in few hours.

Levi parked the car at the dark parking lot and did not expect to run into Erwin so early. "Levi." Came his abnormally large hand over his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be at home?" Levi rolled his eyes. "I don't see the need to stay back at home when I have lots of work to be done." Erwin sighed at his response and decided to not comment on it since he did not want to interfere in his friend's life just yet. He was aware that the newly wed just met on their wedding and did not meet prior to it. He was also aware that Levi only accepted the proposal to make his mother happy. She was a sweet woman and was diagnosed with leukemia with only a year at the least to live. He granted her the wish of marriage and Erwin knew that this man was not committed to the idea despite being married now.

Though Levi managed to evade Erwin's questions and Erwin knew better than questioning Levi but Farlan! Farlan would not let Levi go easily without a little bit of teasing. Levi sighed at the upcoming inevitable interrogations but for now he wanted to bask in silence and decided to take a short nap or sleep, if it ever plan to consume him. Not soon after his eyes decides to rest he hears his office door open suddenly he felt his heart nearly jump out of his heart. Levi glared at the intruder who ignored the glares and settled himself in front of his superior slash friend.

"Bro! You should be enjoying your honeymoon!" Farlan exclaimed slumping back into his seat unbelievable at the situation. Levi rolled his eyes and decided to ignore his friend. "Don't you have work to do? I'm sure you have some documents that must be submitted to me?"

"Bro!" Farlan sounds exasperated this time. Levi just waved and dismissed him annoyingly. He groaned and turned his chair the opposite direction. "If you don't leave me alone now I'll make you clean the bathroom with just a toothbrush." Farlan would have ignored his remarks if he did not know Levi enough but it was true because Farlan was assigned not only once but more than his fingers can count. Farlan threw a look towards his back scrutinizing him and then left with a loud huff signifying that he was not done.

Levi sighed finally relieved that his threat worked and he relaxed at his seat. He turned and switched on his computer to check his mails. He was surprised to find an email from someone totally unexpected. He felt his hands shiver as he opened the email. Eyes softening at the photograph that was attached and he felt a soft smile actually grace on his lips but the smile was rather melancholy. His heart was at peace despite everything that happened. This may have brought momentary peace but he knew that it would not last longer and would never last long. He sighed and leaned his head back looking up at the ceiling. Life would have been different if he could only change his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Happy New Year! I hope 2021 turns out to be better than this year.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the three chapters. I didn't not make major changes I just added more details since I felt like it was lacking details and so by doing that they've become longer. If you want you could reread this or if you want you can skip it.

Levi always left from his office at 9 p.m. He never was the one to work overtime and if so he would bring work home since his office at home was comfortable enough for him to work. He usually preferred to cook but he did not feel like cooking so on his way he picked up food from his favourite restaurant and left home. Despite preferring to eat healthy in other words home cooked meals there was only one restaurant that offered food that came close to his home made food.

He was welcomed to an empty house and there was no evidence of his wife being present anywhere for his satisfaction. Well, he did not really elect her to be that television wife who welcomes her husband warmly with a hug and the aroma of cooked food gracing every corner of the house. He happily placed his food on the table and decided to freshen himself up before taking his dinner. After all he was going to have a moment of peace and alone time for himself.

After finishing his dinner he pulled his phone and checked for the time, it was nearing 11 p.m. and his wife was not home yet. He was not worried about her but rather annoyed that he would have to sacrifice sleep for her to be back so they could discuss and create some ground rules. She did say that to not expect her to be early. It was nearing midnight when he heard the door open and in came a tired woman with an unkempt messy hair. Her eyes looked tired and dead, he wanted to almost let the woman rest for some reason but her eyes opened wide when she saw him on the couch with papers on his hand.

"Right!" She muttered remembering their conversation that morning. She sat in front him while his gaze continuously followed her until she settled. "So, you wanted to talk?"

Levi nodded. "It seems like we are both in disfavor of this marriage. So, let's set some ground rules. I know we don't share an intimate relationship but in front of my mother we will have to act as a couple. My mother is sick and she wanted this marriage more than anyone so we will keep the act in front of her."

Hanji nodded and then added. "My parents expect the same so we will act as a couple in front of them as well. And at home both of us will not bother each other. You cook your own food and I do the same."

Levi nodded again in agreement. Then he stood up. "I have one last thing to add. Cleanliness. It is the number one rule in this place. We will share the bed but I will not accept you on my bed unless you are clean." He heard a low groan from her. She was a doctor of course she had to be clean but some days were tiring and the she cared less of having a wash before bed. But before she left to the bathroom she looked at him with an serious expression. "May I know what is the sickness your mother is suffering from?"

Levi sighed. "Leukemia." Was all he said and turned his gaze away from her as feelings of sadness settled in. He did not want to show his vulnerable side to a stranger, not really a stranger now but to a person who did not know him well. He could not let his guard down because one day she could turn into his bitterest enemy.

When he settled in the bed he heard her huff and grabbed some clothes and left into the bathroom but in less than five minutes she was out and he frowned at her. Her hair was damp and she was wearing a tank top and a short. She looked nonchalant and for gods sake she was a doctor and didn't she know that she would get sick. Nevertheless he shrugged, who was he to be concerned well technically he was her husband but it was just in papers. He shook his head and turned the opposite side from her and switched off the lights. Again he heard her whimpering. Was it this marriage that made her cry or something else? He for sure knew that he did nothing to make her cry but it was getting annoying, he decided to only hold his anger down for once and let the woman cry as he in his end try to sleep ignoring it.

Hanji woke up startled when she heard the vacuum roaring loud. She groaned stretching her arms. It was Sunday and she was forced by her superior to stay back at home threatening to fire her if she did not. She sighed and slumped back on to the bed as she let her eyes stare at the ceiling. Her stomach growled after a while which reminded her of not having her dinner last night. She remembered stuffing granola bars into her bag that she bought from the little mart in her hospital. Standing up she reached for her bag and unwrapped the granola bars that she was lucky enough to find. Hastily drowning them she heard a Tch from the doorway, looking at the only man in the house she raised an eyebrow at his face of disapproval.

"I thought we will be ignoring each other's presence." She remarked swallowing the last of her bite. She looked carefully to examine him. He was wearing a cloth on his head and the same white cloth was tied around his neck which he might have probably used to cover his nose and mouth. 

"My mother and uncle will be visiting us for lunch. I will prepare lunch you can do anything until then just don't bother me and be presentable when they are here." He informed and then left to continue cleaning. Hanji knew that the house was super clean and wondered why the man was obsessed with cleaning. Maybe he is a clean freak, she thought and entered the bathroom. She stopped at the doorway and looked last her shoulders as she felt a grin form on her lips. Somehow, she felt like there would be some fun to irritate him. She already disliked his obsession on cleaning.

Hanji only stepped out of the room to go to the kitchen so she could grab a bottle of water and returned to the room deciding to occupy herself by watching clips on complicated surgeries and taking notes on them. She had to prepare a research thesis on different methods of surgery and also she had an upcoming seminar at her former university.

After downing more granola bars she realized that it was about time her mother in law would visit them. She wore a simple floral shirt and her usual slacks she wore to the hospital since she did not wear many flattering dresses. She preferred simple clothes since afterall she would change her clothes at the hospital. Humming in approval she combed her hair removing all the nasty knots she pulled it into her unusually neat ponytail but letting her long bangs grace either side of her face.

In the meantime, Levi placed the marinated chicken into the oven. After the chicken was baked he would be done with the lunch. Now, all he needed was to wait for his mother. He decided to go call on his wife and speak to her regarding on their act. He found her sitting on the couch with some sort of medical magazine in front her eyes. He tched to himself and walked towards her. "Yes, do you need help in the kitchen?" She averted her eyes from her magazine and looked up at him. He shook his head and still stood in front of her as he removed his apron. 

"They will be here any moment." He said since knowing that they lived few blocks away and his mother always loved arriving earlier than scheduled. She would pop up suddenly. Hanji hummed in response placing the magazine on the coffee table and stood up.

"My name is Levi. I'm saying this because- let me be honest, as you know we don't have interest in this marr-" Hanji cut him off. "I understand. My name is Hanji Zoë and I work as the head surgeon in Sina University Hospital. And I'm 29 years old." She stated the important details.

Levi nodded. "I'm 32 and I'm a director of the Survey Corps Security Services."

Right on time they heard the bell to the door and the oven ring. "I'll get that." Hanji said and Levi left to get the chicken out so they could serve lunch warm.

"My dear!" Kuchel smiled warmly and pulled Hanji into a hug. "How have you been?" She asked her as they walked together inside. Kenny appeared few seconds later and side hugged Hanji before yelling Levi's name finding him in the kitchen. Hanji knew that Kenny's excitement for some reason would embarrass the two of them during lunch.

"I am fine..." Hanji did not know how to address her and Kuchel understanding it nevertheless smiled at her yet again radiating warmth. This oddly reminded Hanji of herself. She used to smile warmly at that one person once upon a time. She felt her heart clench at the reminder but she had to look happy in front her in laws so she pushed away the thought and returned her the smile.

"Mother or mom would be fine, dear. You look exhausted." Kuchel said feeling her cheeks. Kuchel was no stranger to such emotions, she knew that her daughter in law was not adjusted to this whole affair yet. What Kuchel strived to do was to make sure that this woman would keep her son happy and safe and that her son would do the same to her. 

"Ah, don't worry mother. I'm fine." Hanji said taking her hand reassuringly with yet again one of those wide smiles that practically hurt her cheeks, she hoped that it was convincing enough. "I was told that you are not well so let me escort you in." She said taking Kuchel to the living room.

Levi was exact copy of Kuchel, Hanji realized. Kenny looked different. He had a stubble and was taller than herself. Levi like his mother was shorter than an average male but he was 10cm taller than his mother. His mother seemed as if she was around her late 50s but still looked very youthful but Hanji could see that her sickness had taken a toll in the older woman. She looked tired and seemingly weak.

"Are you getting chemotherapy?" Hanji asked in a soft voice. Kuchel smiled solemnly. "I decided not to. Afterall I'm in my last stages and I'd prefer to let my passing be without any trips to hospital constantly. I'm taking my meds and maintain a healthy diet though it seems that I'm loosing weight rapidly." Kuchel was well aware that Hanji was a doctor so she did not see harm in saying everything truthfully without hiding the painful reality which could pass any moment although she knows that some things would worry her son but she also knew that hiding things from a doctor was futile.

"Mom." Levi peeps out trying to escape from his uncle grasps. "Why don't we have our lunch? Hanji help me set up." He nodded at her while she returned the gesture.

"Mother, let's go." Hanji held her mother in law's hand and pulled the chair for her. Kenny was now seated besides Kuchel. The table was already set except for few dishes missing on the table. Hanji entered the kitchen and took the tray of chicken with her while Levi followed her with a bowl of white rice. 

"Smells nice." Kuchel clapped her hands as she watched them place the dishes and the settle on the table. She knew that these two had a long way to go but nevertheless she would live long enough to see them start actually caring for each other. That was her only wish for now, to see her son happy and moved on from the dreadful past.

After lunch where mostly Kenny did the talking they settled in the living room with the television as their background noise. Kenny pulled up some monopoly board he found in Levi's attic which Levi was sure that his uncle left loads of board games in his attic so they could play these boring games. But, he was enduring everything for his mother as these what made her happy. 

"Monopoly is boring." His mother remarked with a pout. He smiled at the expression. He will miss these moments with his mother. He was not ready to lose her yet. Hanji remembered the abandoned Uno pack somewhere in her belongings so she went to fetch it as questioning gazes followed her figure dashing into the room. Maybe that thought could make her happy, she thought.

"Levi, what do you think of her?" Levi did not expect this question from his mother. Well, it has been just a day since their marriage and he couldn't exactly say she was nice or whatsoever. He could not even tell his mother that they left for work but he figured that his mother might know about that since Farlan tended to call and snitch Levi on everything.

"We are still in terms of getting to know each other." His mother smiled gently at the response and he knew that it was a good enough response since it was ambiguous and his mother would certainly take it as a good sign.

"Well, that's a start." She clapped her hands and the turned to look at his uncle. "Isn't it, Kenny?" The only time he had ever seen his uncle gentle was when he looked at his mother. He still treated Kuchel as his little sister as he patted her. "Yes, it is. Let's hope the brat doesn't screw up."

Hanji returned after ten minutes of hunting for the pack. "I got some Uno cards." She smiled sheepishly and raised her hand showing off the cards in her arms hoping that this would do fine. "Then we play Uno." Kenny remarked loudly with a loud bang hitting on the table.

The duo ended up waiting for dinner and Kuchel actually was the one who prepared dinner with Hanji assisting her. It had been Kuchel's dream to have her daughter in law assist her in kitchen. Levi did drop by minutes by minutes as he was worried for his mother but seemingly he did not need to worry but he had to worry with his uncle rummaging through everything. He wondered why his uncle had to do it everytime he visited but he always got the response "it's fun seeing you get triggered." He could only roll his eyes and stop his uncle from bothering him.

Hanji watched the older woman skillfully chop the vegetables putting her into shame since she had no idea how to handle a knife, the only sharp tool she knew to handle was the scalpel. She bit her lips in embarrassment hoping that it would not be a disappointment.

"You are not a good cook?" Kuchel asked as she watched the brunette stare at her chopping. Kuchel chuckled waving her hands signalling her not to be embarrassed since she noticed the embarrassment radiating from her. 

Hanji smiled guiltily and slumped her shoulders. "I'm sorry, mother. I have been studying my whole life."

"Aww no matter." She stopped chopping and pinched Hanji's cheeks making Hanji turn bright red. "My son compensates for it. I'll make sure that he cooks for you everyday." They giggled in unison and not so soon Kuchel started guiding Hanji on how to peel onions and use the knife so you don't chop your fingers. She was honestly enjoying this. Her mother had encouraged her to study and so she never had her hand in kitchen. She was only skilful in handling the scalpel.

Hanji was a fast learner but she was no stranger to the starter's mistake of getting her finger cut. She winced a little and immediately opened the tap to let the water wash away the blood. She was a doctor so she knew how to treat wounds but still this small cut bothered her. 

"Oh, dear! Thankfully it is not deep." Kuchel took her hand into hers and examined the wound before calling for Levi to bring the first aid kit. Levi thinking that it was his mother who was injured ran in worriedly with box in his hands. "Mom!" Kuchel motioned him to come as she watched her son's concerned face thinking it was for his wife. She giggled in secret. "Levi, help tend Hanji's wound." Levi sighed in relief and complied to his mother's words. He was glad that his mother was not injured.

He silently applied some antiseptic and put a bandaid. Hanji could have done it herself since she was doctor and skilled in treating wounds but it hurt like a bitch. Hanji continued in helping Kuchel despite the wound and the fuss from Kuchel to stay away nevertheless she started by getting her the required ingredients and stirring the pot when required. 

The dinner went well and Levi was satisfied that his mother was content with the day and suspected no disappointment from today. His only goal was making his mother happy and he was ready to do that even if he had to act fake in front of his mother. He was glad that Hanji was cooperative in this matter.

Today was not a bad day but he had to admit that his uncle was a lot more of a headache. He had given Levi a whole lot of mess to clean. Overall he was thankful that his mother did not bring up the fact that they left for work the previous day. He knew that his mother was aware of that fact. Nevertheless, he decided that tonight he could rest perfectly fine if only Hanji doesn't end up crying like she did for the last two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post earlier but I got held up haha.  
> I honestly had a different way for this but this is going in an unexpected direction but everything is planned out even the ending. This story might extend 10 chapters but let's see.


	4. Chapter 4

Soon days passed by as their lives just got more and more busier. Levi saw less of Hanji at home except for the mornings he wakes up besides her. They had respectfully kept their distance as Hanji tend to sleep more to the edge. Some days he woke up to the sound of the thud of her falling from the bed nevertheless she still opted to sleep at the very edge of the bed. He decided to ignore and try sleeping since it was something he struggled with after all, when did he had the luxury to worry about her when he already had his hands full with his own sleeping problems.

He woke up one night dripping from sweat with the vivid memory of the nightmare still etched in his hazy mind. Trying to calm his racing heart he lied back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. The vivid images of the nightmare came back whenever he closed his eyes. _The army. His green uniform. The nurses tent. The sound of the bomb._ He groaned and turned to the side to face his wife. Usually she had her back against him but this time she was facing his side, laying his palm beneath his cheek he watched her. Watching her breath steadily he felt his breath start to match here and eventually sleep invaded him and the dreadful images were replaced by calm and soothing colours invading his mind.

The next morning Levi was mortified to find Hanji in his arms. His immediate instinct being to push her away but that would wake her up and it would be awkward so he safely pushed her aside and buried his head in his palms. He should take Hanji's idea to sleep in the corner of the bed because he realised that it was him who had gone over to her side and taken her into his arms. Thankfully, she was a deep sleeper, he noted. The sky was still dark which meant that he had a very short sleep, grunting he hopped off the bed. He needed to freshen himself up and go to work, and most importantly forget the comfort of the night.

  
Hanji woke abruptly with the sound of her alarm ringing throughout the room. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock, 11 am. She was not late and she had time to go to the cafe to have some brunch before heading to the hospital. After freshening up she saw no trace of her husband who must have definitely left in the morning. She raised her arms stretching herself and left to get some brunch. She had a very nice sleep and her eyes weren't puffy as usual. It seems like her body was out of tears now but heart still felt heavy with the wounds of the past still bleeding fresh.

Conversing and helping her patients had been a great distraction for the past years and she was grateful that it still worked. The more time she spent in the hospital the less she would run into her husband although she did see the sleeping version of him, not that she cared. She was glad that there was no trouble caused between them and that they were living their own life without interfering each other's. Sometimes their parents would visit and they did not have to act all lovey dovey as they just brush it off with the excuse that they were still getting to know each other but nevertheless hold hands and faked a smile and in Levi's part he did not smile much and he did not even seem the type to do so.

There were some mornings, usually the mornings when the two did not go for work they would fight over using the bathroom despite the existence of the extra one. They'd brush their teeth together whilst imagining 101 ways to murder each other. Hanji was annoyed with the loud vacuum cleaner and in return uses the blender when he is in a meeting, and so started their Cold War where they irritated each other endlessly whenever the chances were available. Naturally after months it became a habit for both of them. If Hanji found him asleep she would purposely open and close the doors with a bang startling him, Levi tried returning her the helpful favour but seemingly she was a very deep sleeper therefore he had to resort to a new plan thus opting him to change his alarm tone into a very rather noisy ringing tone which startled both of them one morning (then he had to change his plans since it was disadvantageous for him). But, nevertheless he found many other ways to irritate her, from which arranging her mess was one of them. Hanji was not organised but still she knew right where her things were but one out of boredom he arranged her stuff and learned that she hated it and thus making him do it more to annoy the shit out of her.

Somehow these events had brought change into their life. This Cold War between the two served as a major distraction. Still, Levi found Hanji in his arms and when thoughts like how nice it was to have her warmth in his arms took over his mind he would immediately shove her way making her fall into the ground and then roll to his side pretending to sleep while Hanji being the oblivious would think it was just another night of her falling off the bed. But, what Levi did not know was that Hanji too would find herself wrapping her arm around his waist and snuggling into his back, those nights appalled her. How could the shorty be so comfortable? And she'd mentally slap herself for finding the mean shorty warm and comfortable. 

Well, the couple could not live in the peace of their "home" because they were bound to be brought of their comfort zone and pretend to be a lovely couple whilst they were no where near that range. They were still asked on how they feel for each other while their answer still remained the same but with a little bit of improvement realising that they could not stick to the same answer forever. "Well, she's not bad. She understands me and we are comfortable with each other." It was half true and he had to lie about the part where he said she was not bad because she was, he was annoyed by her lack of order and messy attitude, and God, some days she does not even shower and he had to bear her stinky scalp some nights (some nights he was the cause for her to fall off the bed and the tired woman has no idea about it).

  
Slapping some cream into her face she glanced at the man who was reading a book while leaning against the headboard, he was super engrossed she noticed. She cleared her throat to signify that she was going to tell him something. Levi sensing the woman's intention nevertheless continued with his book. "My mother had invited us and your family to join on a trip to the mountains out of Shiganshina. We go camping there every year and this time they decided to invite your family too." She said not looking at him but continued rubbing her face and settling herself besides him. He grunted in response not giving a proper answer and this mildly irritated her.

"Well..." She pressed on and then looked at him sideways. Now, he rested the book on his lap and looked up. 

"I don't know if my mother could make it. She is not doing well." Hanji hummed and then switch off the lamp at her side. "Well, then I'll let mom know about it but we would have to go definitely whether you like it or not." 

Levi rolled his eyes and continued reading his book. Five minutes into it he heard her snore, he felt his lips curve but he bit his lips forcing him to stop. Why did he even smile! She was a nuisance but ... there was improvement in her, she did not cry anymore like before. He always wondered why did she cry, did she hate this marriage so much? He had no idea and never wanted to know because he thought it was one time thing but she continuously cried for a whole month and then stopped when they started pestering each other. He definitely could endure living with her because after all what did he have in life to look forward for and the least he could look forward was too these childish fights they had with each other.

  
A week later Levi drove them to mother's place to pick his mother and uncle who were also joining them to camping in the mountains. When Kuchel had heard the news she was very excited despite Levi's protest his mother guilt tripped him by mentioning that she might as well enjoy her short life time having fun by doing things she had not done before. Out of everyone she was the most excited and had cooked a lot of food in which Hanji had helped her the previous day. Levi rolled his eyes when he saw his uncle place the fishing rod (when did his uncle learn to fish). "Well, brat, I have a new hobby." He shook his head and ignored his uncle while Hanji listened to him ramble his fake heroic tales. And so their little holiday began.

By the time they arrived Hanji's parents were already there and had already started to put up the second tent. They waved rather enthusiastically and pulled Hanji into a tight hug and greeted the rest with the same hug. Hanji's parents told that the second tent could be used by Levi's mother and uncle and instructed the couple to put up their own. Levi hoped he could spend the night with his mother but since he a wife he had no choice but to share with her (at least better than sharing with Kenny, he thought). While Levi and Hanji set their tent, her parents started the fire and started cooking some soup and Kuchel took out the tupperware of food she brought. The night went smoothly with them speaking while sitting around the fire and singing songs, Hanji's father had brought a guitar and Kenny boasted his skills revealing to be a guitarists in his school band and so they followed his lead and started singing except for Levi who was not in the mood and he did not sing.

The next day their program was announced by Mrs. Zoë who clapped her hand with excitement. Levi realised that there were new faces but quite familiar, if he recalled correctly he was pretty sure these faces were from the wedding, and not so soon he was introduced to Nanaba and Mike who were Hanji's colleagues. They smiled at him and greeted him with enthusiasm but it was not rightly reciprocated from him. Hanji did not spend much time with him after the arrival of her friends, not that he cared really. He was rather better off as a loner but he at the most made sure that his time was spent with his mother, making sure to assist her whenever assistance was required while his mother tried her best to chase him off to hang out with his wife.

  
"Okay, guys! We had our breakfast, now it's time do some hiking." Mr. Zoë announced repeating the words Mrs. Zoë had told as soon as they woke up. Levi liked the change of the environment but there was one thing he hated during this whole trip, the existence of the mosquitos that kept constantly buzzing into his ears and then creating this red bumps on his skin which were itchy. He absentmindedly scratched his arm cursing those bloodsucking tiny nuisances. 

Hanji noticed from the corner of her eyes and winced at the now blistering skin. As a doctor she could not let her conscience ignore even tiny wounds. She went into their tent and fished for an ointment that would soothe his skin which she noticed were sensitive. _I'm doing this because I'm a doctor._ She walked out and looked at the shirt man still itching and then extended her arm with the ointment. "Take it. This will help you soothe the pain and there's a mosquito repellent inside the tent you can use it." She said and then left him to help her mother arrange.

Fortunately, his mother decided to sit out of the hike and volunteered to prepare lunch but Kenny did not want to stay back and Levi decided that he should stay. Unfortunately for him Hanji's mother was not going to keep the couple apart thus volunteering to stay back with his mother and prepare lunch. So, Levi and Hanji, Nanaba and Mike, Kenny and Mr. Zoë were set to start their hiking in pairs. Mrs. Zoë had informed that this was a competition they always did for fun, in the past Hanji's aunts and uncles would join the hike but they could not make this year therefore it was just few people.

"Just follow me, I have used these paths countless of times." Hanji told while she bent to tie her shoelaces. "Let's just get over with this." She drew in a deep breath and led him into the rocky path. They continued walking in silent and he was glad that they were making it quick. The quicker they way the sooner this would finish. Levi was a very fit man and being a former soldier he was confident with his strong physique but right now climbing the rocky path his thighs started to ache and he could see that Hanji was slowing down. "Are you sure that we are nearer?"

Hanji stopped and placed her hands on the either side of her hip and looked forward, her breathing was laboured, she was just as tired as he was. "I... I think we are lost." She said in a low voice that Levi swore that he almost misheard it. "What the fuck!" He pushed his hair behind and stood straight trying to calm himself from the absurdity of this situation. He thought she was pretty confident with this whole thing. How could they be lost?

"So, you are telling me that we are lost in this place where you have gone countless of times?" He asked with a eerie calm voice which gave her goosebumps. He already had a very intimidating voice and now that he used such a tone that made her scared even more. She drew a deep breath and mentally noted not to stutter. "To be honest, this is an annual camping trip but I have not been here for the past few years and it seems this place has changed." She looked around navigating for a familiar route. Well, usually they took routes that were made by hikers but this particular one was not made by hikers and were mostly taken by challengers. Hanji and her elder cousins loved to find different paths and they always used shortcuts and this time she chose one to make things quicker but along the way they got lost.

"We cannot stay for longer that's for sure. Either way we will have to find a way." Levi said picking up a long stick from the ground. "I'm assuming that there are no dangerous animals here." Hanji shook her head but paused. "We cannot be sure." She replied after a while.

She then walked forward with Levi following her closely. They checked for their water supplies and was glad that they've got water just in case they were forced to stay which Hanji reassured him that they would not spend the night in the forest. But, Levi did not know the place and therefore she could not criticise his paranoia. "We'll find a way out you don't have to panic, shorty." She remarked and took a step forward but she tripped onto some stone and slipped behind, Levi having a quick reflex caught her immediately making them tumble down and falling on top of each other. It was quite typical, Hanji thought as they stared at each other's eyes but he was definitely not the person she wanted to experience this kind of situations. She pushed herself off of him and looked at the path in front of her. "Seems like I found our exit."

At this point Hanji had to admit that they were losing this little meaningless competition because she saw their four competitors in their rendezvous point. "I see you guys had some fun." Kenny grinned and pointed at their muddy clothes. Levi rolled his eyes while Hanji's two friends threw them an incomprehensible look. Were they teasing them? Levi shrugged and told that they better get going back. He heard from Nanaba saying Hanji that they were the first to arrive and they had ignored there for almost an hour waiting for them.

Kenny and Mr. Zoë took the lead and soon Nanaba and Mike abandoned Hanji leaving her with him. Thy walked in silence and after a while he noticed that Hanji was limping. He slowed down a little to watch her from behind to confirm his suspicions. After walking a bit faster to catch up with her he asked her, "Are you limping?" She did not answer him but shook her head and when they were to take the stone stairs she held his forearm instinctively for support. "Sorry." She muttered and took her hand from him but as they walked forward she suddenly stopped and not feeling her presence he turned to look at her.

"Are you bleeding?" She asked looking at his hand. Levi checked for his arm and noticed blood seeping from his jacket. "It does not hurt. Let's go and check it later." Hanji nodded her head and followed him. Without a word he wrapped her hand around his. "I know we have some disagreements and some tension between us but at least let's help each other after all we are supposed to be lovey dovey in front of our parents." Hanji scoffed, when were they ever lovey dovey, Levi did not know the definition of lovey dovey but his distant personality certainly did help them to tone down such actions and all they could do to suffice the satisfaction was by holding hands and helping each other which was enough to show off their closeness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

It's been almost two weeks since the hiking trip and again work had made them busy. One particular day Levi gets a phone call from his mother and it's mystery for him on how his mother knew that this was his day off, Farlan he suspected simply because that man is pampered by his mother that he easily snitches on Levi. He answered his mother's call knowing that she possibly has some errands for him, after all he did plan to visit his mother soon and he never minded running errands for her. "Levi~~" she cooed cutely earning a smile from him, his mother will always have the larger part of his heart. "Yes, mom." He removed his gloves and put away the cleaning products as he listened to her ramble about some neighbours and then end up with asking him to come home just as he assumed she added him to bring some spices that needed refilling.

Levi did not need to ring the bell, he parked the car and entered the house right from the back door of the kitchen. The house was definitely close by but since his mother had made him go all the way to the supermarket which was away from their neighborhood he had to go on a drive. He stopped at the sight on the kitchen table, there were two huge lunch boxes and he did not know who needed it, not Kenny nor him. Who caused his mother go through such lengths to prepare them such food, he wondered. "Oh, Levi! You are here." His mother emerged through the door to see her son's face which was in disbelief. "Mom, what's this?"

Kuchel smiled, "they are for Hanji. I heard she's going to Trost for a medical camp and would return in two days. Why didn't you tell me about it?" Levi frowned, how would he know when they barely saw each other except at night where less words were exchanged. But, nevertheless he coughed and covered it by making excuses like he forgot it. "Well, never mind now. I want you to take these to her. I know that she doesn't eat well. Andddd..." She dragged on. "You don't seem to cook for her." This time Levi looked elsewhere and muttered that he did cook for her when she was around which was true in some aspects because he did cook for her because he did not like lying to his mother therefore some days he would end up cooking for her. She never commented on his food but he aware on how bad her diet was, for god sake she was a doctor and she doesn't seem to take care of her too well, but anyways they have negotiated to not to pry into each other's lives therefore he did not bother apprehending her except for that one rule he imposed over her cleanliness.

"Ok ok. I don't know what time they'll leave. So, just go already and take these with you." Levi groaned complaining why she did not send Kenny and she just said something along the line that he drank last night and was suffering from hungover. As much as he wanted to stay back and scold his uncle he knew that his mother would beat his ass if he did not manage to deliver the lunch boxes to Hanji. "That girl is too thing that I can see her bones and to tell that she's a doctor." His mother sighed mumbling something like kids these days and waved him off telling him to hurry. He smiled at his mother being the naggy version today something that he did not see in months. She certainly was looking livelier despite the fact that her sickness was taking away her days slowly, but he did not complain because he did not want the sick version of his mother to be his last memory of her.

Whenever Levi got sick he always avoided going to the hospital, it was a place that awakens bad memories. He did not hate hospitals but there was an invisible barrier between him and that sick place bringing him back the abhorred and scaring memories. Levi tightened the grip on the stirring wheel and pulled over by the road trying to breathe normally when he realised that he was about to have a panic attack. He leaned his forehead onto the stirring wheel and tried to get rid of those images that plagued his nights while trying to regulate his breathing. The quickening breathing started to slow down and his heart rate too calmed. Then his eyes wandered off to the lunch boxes, he had to deliver it if not he would have to endure his mother nagging him all week. Sitting straight and starting the engine he drove off the hospital Hanji was said to be working in, and thankfully that hospital had to do nothing with his memories therefore he considered that he'd be safe from such thoughts plaguing him again, hopefully he muttered. He just did not want another episode of his PTSD to occur there just yet.

Stepping into the huge building he was glad that he managed to survive up to this point. He went up to the receptionist and without stuttering asked for Doctor Hanji Zoë and was given the direction towards her office. He walked up and tried not to focus on the white walls which is pretty much common in many hospitals, the mundane walls and the oh so familiar patients dressed in their gown reminded him of her, her screams, the pain, the agony and want to die and leave all of those pains behind. He closed his eyes and leaned against the walls for support, he could almost see the door to Hanji's office and he just has to make it there but his knees gave up as he slid down and his ears started to ring with the agonising screams and suddenly his eyes witnesses the horrors he had wanted to disappear from his mind. Soon the surrounding around him turned black and the distant voices of 'are you okay' faded back to silence and suddenly the the after sound when the bomb explodes deafened his ears and he lost the thread of conscious he tried to hang into.

"Is he okay?" Was the first thing Levi heard when he regained his conscious, he realised that he was laid down in a fluffy and comfortable bed. He did not open his eyes yet as they felt too heavy and he just let himself bask in the comfort but the smell of the hospital bothered him and he just wanted to get out of the hospital now. He opened his eyes and tried to sit back, he was the best in fighting against his panic attacks but this one has occurred after years, heck, he did not even try visiting the hospital even with his mother, he always sent Kenny with his mother. The nurse, he assumed opened her eyes wide and asked him to lay down but he shook his head, her voice sounded very faint though she was close to him and his ear still bore those ringing noises.

"Levi?" He heard the familiar voice of Hanji calling him out and it seemed as if she was surprised to see him, so she must have got to know about him now, he assumed. She dismissed the nurse who explained to her what had happened, after sending her Hanji turned to look at him. "What brought you here?" She asked burying her hands into her coat letting her gaze run all over his body making him feel suddenly all awkward.

"I came to deliver the lunch boxes to you from mom." Hanji nodded and then took a seat on his bed as she reached out to the boxes besides the bed. "Why though?" She cocked her head looking at him when she confirmed that he did not have any physical injuries.

"She told you were off to a medical camp and wanted to send you food." She hummed and then hopped off the bed. "You should tell me what happened. I don't mean what happened today but what caused these panic attacks to avoid future occurrences. Not today maybe after I return because I'm pretty sure it's a long story." She said and then left him to ponder as she took the lunch boxes with her. He thought that by now his PTSD was not that bad and his panic attacks did not act up for almost a year and so that got him thinking that he was okay but his nightmares surely did speak the opposite nevertheless he thought he was getting out of it.

Levi spent his days thinking over what she had said as he took few days off from work. For two days he went to his mother's house and spent his nights there sleeping with her. He found comfort in his mother's arms or maybe... he just missed the presence of his wife that he got used to but he'd never admit it. He just needed someone there to be with him. He almost looked forward for her arrival and so when the day of her arrival came he went home without breakfast. Maybe he was too excited because he was met with an empty house, of course, she won't arrive until night. He slumped on his sofa with disappointment and closed his eyes awaiting for her arrival.

Hanji yawned stepping into the dark house, that's weird, she thought because if Levi was around which he was usually because he was always at home at ten pm, he was did not seem the type to overwork. She almost yelled as she saw Levi on the couch with sweat dripping down his forehead and his head turning left and right muttering incoherent words. She threw her backpack aside and knelt besides him feeling for his forehead, he wasn't burning. She sighed in relief that she needn't care for a sick man at home. "Levi." She whispered shaking his shoulders lightly, no answer, so she stood up and turned her back but a firm hold on her wrist stopped her. Turning back to look at him he had his eyes half open and as if in a daze...

"You came." He whispered abruptly pulling her down for a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, next chapter we'll be finding out about Levi's past. What really had hurt him!


	6. Chapter 6

Hanji had brewed tea for the both of them. She set aside the fatigue from work and sat down in front of the disoriented Levi who seemed to be collecting his wits. He had muttered another woman's name when he had hugged her almost making her curious. "Are you feeling any better now?" She asked placing the tea in front of him and then hers in front of her. He took time to answer and until then she raised her cup to take small sips from the steaming hot beverage that she drank occasionally.

Levi grunted in response and reached for the cup, he let his hand rest a little while around the cup to let the warmth creep into his hands. Then he raised his head to look at her curious face that waited for him to tell his story and just as promised she sat there. He drank a sip and slightly grimaced at the bland and sugary taste of the beverage, everyone have different preferences he told to himself and settled the cup down. He could voice his opinion on the tea later and for now he settled with telling his story. "Well..." He began...

Levi joined the army when he was 18 years old and being in the cadet club in his high school certainly did help him in molding himself to be a future soldier. He trained for another two years and when he turned twenty he was recognised to be one of the best soldier and was given a high rank among the cadets back then. Three years later he was announced to be the captain and was given his own special squad to lead during special operations. Paradis was not a very peaceful country neither was the world, every country had to fight a fucking war. No one in Paradis except the soldiers knew about the graveness of the warfare against Marley. Marley wanted to exert their leadership in Paradis but the soldiers of Paradis fought hard to keep up peace because if Paradis did fall into Marley's hand then the whole nation would be exploited and people would lose jobs and the country would practically become slaves to Marley.

Levi wanted to fight for his country just like his father did and thus he joined and lived up to his father's name who he had died before his birth. He knew that the surname he carried was not his father's because his mother and father never married. His father promised to live but he had died even before the promised marriage after the war. Levi was indeed saddened by the fact that he could not meet his father but he was even more saddened when his mother cried over his enlistment into the army. He knew his mother's pain but this was his childhood dream and the soldiers were glorified as heroes and he wanted to become one too. What he did not know was that war could crumble and eat them from inside forever because war is not beautiful, war is cruel and it will haunt you forever.

Levi, his squad and more soldiers were sent to front lines where the battle with Marley was fought. They had many special operations and one of these was to overtake the stronghold of Marley and cut off their supplies. A medical camp was also sent with them knowing that the number of casualties has risen. Words were that the Marleyans were using child soldiers to fight in the frontlines because soldiers would not kill children easily and thus this has cost a lot of their soldiers. Levi sighed realising how they were going to take on children.

"We can't kill them for sure." He heard a female's voice say as he and his squad was strategising. Oluo nudged Eld making them all turn towards the source. They saw a short petite brown haired woman dressed in a white gown indicating that she was a nurse. Maybe it was love at first sight, Levi felt his cheeks redden but he treated her the same as he does with everyone and that means he started with being the rude and cold hearted person he was, of course that was his default mode. "What are you doing here?" He barked in a commanding voice to indicate that she was not allowed inside. "I was told that there's an injured here." 

"He's in the other tent." Gunther replied and when she turned to leave Oluo called out. "Oi..What's your name?" She turned back to look at them and the realising that Levi's eyes is still staring at her, she blushed, sure he was rude and commanding but he was handsome and that made her feel all sorts of things. "I'm Petra Ral." She bowed and left.

"She's cute." Oluo had said what was in his mind but he had no time to think about girls and he never did but there was some thing about her that made his heart skip a beat. He bit back a smile and glared at them ordering them to focus. "Since, it's cruel to kill children." He remembered her words. "We will capture them. We will lay traps and lure them in."

"But, captain, you do know that Marley chose the best of the best children to fight this war." Eld voiced out his thoughts on it and Gunther agreed with it. Oluo being the one who loved to imitate his captain disagreed with them and agreed with Levi. "I mean we could fish out something from them." He shrugged. Gunther and Eld rolled their eyes at Oluo. "These children killed twenty of soldiers and injured fifty more. It seems that these kids are better than their soldiers. Do you think there's experiments involved?" Gunther asked.

"Tomorrow we will be scouting these areas." Levi pointed out. "We aren't in a full fledged war but I think Marley is experimenting with these kids before going out in full assault therefore we have to capture the stronghold before they attack for real. That way we will be drastically lowering the level of threat." Wrapping up the meeting he walked out of the tent. He had a bad headache and he walked towards the medical tent to get some pills that would help his pain. The medics were given quarters away from the battlefield and critical soldiers are taken to the quarters to be treated with comfort while some medics stayed closer to the battlefield due to the uncertainty of possible injuries.

Levi peeped in since there was no way to knock. He was surprised to see the familiar nurse from before. "Can I come in?" He asked even after already entering. He saw her shoulders slightly jump before turning around. "I'm sorry." She said as her hand still laid on her chest. Her cheeks were pink, he realised. "I mean I'm new here and I've heard stories about this place being haunted so I was very cautious. Oh, I'm speaking a lot. How can I help you, -"she trailed off not knowing how to address him.

"I'm Levi." He remarked. "Captain Levi!" She almost squealed. She mean, who did not know him, he was almost dubbed as the humanity's strongest and she had heard all kinds of stories about him and was very excited to meet him. She wanted to join the army but she failed in strength therefore wanting to be of service to her country she volunteered to become a nurse at the age of twenty.

"I'm here for some pills for my headache." Her mouth formed an 'oh' and immediately started to look for some pills that would help him. In the meantime, Levi took time to look around and found that no one is around except for her. "What are you doing here all alone?" He asked now walking close to her with his hands tied behind him. She squeaked at the sudden closeness and felt her heart race. He was not wearing his uniform but a gray tshirt exposing his chiselled chest. "Ermmm... T-they are tending to some soldiers they'll be back soon." She took out a bottle and handed it to him. He nodded at her response and thanked her. He let his lips curve when he left the tent.

Levi's squad accompanied by few other soldiers just returned from scouting the area and then immediately set into plan for the traps, in the meantime Levi had sent Gunther and Oluo to interrogate the injured soldiers who's witnessed the attacks of the children soldiers. "So, what's the progress?" Levi asked as he and Eld set up the huge map on the table.

"One soldier named Christian said that they are in the beginning of their teenhood, the age range we assume is 12-16 and they are very skilled with guns and grenades. Their strategised attacks were better than the Marleyans soldiers. Knowing that the Marleyans force every men to become soldiers we assume that the frontline soldiers aren't very skilled. The Marleyans are saving the best for another day?" Gunther asked turning to look at Levi who listened intently to every words. He hummed for awhile to think straight. "So, these are all assumptions, if like you say we are assuming that they are saving the best for the end then we can assume that there are more kids and they are also using only few of them to show that we got no chance against them. Marley is not fighting only us at the moment they are attacking many nations all around the world but their military rule is also crumbling because they lost three wars already. Maybe they are trying to make us surrender." He rubbed his chin still thinking. They needed the commander since this was not a very trivial issue. "Eld write up a report and send it to HQ and put in a request for the back up of the elite team. We'll end this right here." They saluted and left to immediate work.

Few hours after the report was sent Levi and his team was called into a video meeting with Commander-in-chief Darius Zackley, Commander Nile Dok and Commander Dot Pixis. "So, you are telling us that Marley is using child soldiers? Why have not the other nations report this?" Zackley questioned stroking his beard.

"We hypothesise that they are experimenting the kids on us and thus far have yielded positive results with the casualties we have faced. We are planning to use traps to capture these children alive." Levi said but he received disapprovals from two of the commanders except from Pixis.

"If they were successful in killing our men then we kill them too because we can't risk any more causalities. You may keep one child among them alive for questioning but the rest should die." Nile Dok remarked making Levi frown at the man's judgement. Who knows if the kids were fighting a war they were forced to like those men in frontlines, Levi had seen enough enemy soldiers who begged for instant death and the very same soldiers laying on the ground with lifeless eyes and fear awaiting death to consume them immediately.

"I will be joining Captain Levi's squad with my Elite team. We will capture these child soldiers. I ask permission for the Research Team to join us in this expedition. We will call this the Operation of capturing the Experiment Child Soldiers." Commander Pixis said and then nodded at Levi siding with the younger man and his words. Zackley stroked his beard before giving an answer. "I'll trust you on this Commander Pixis." The Commander-in-chief said and then adjourned the meeting.

"Well, that went well." Eld said standing up and stretching his limbs. Commander Pixis informed them that he would be there within twenty four hours with his team, in the meantime Levi was to gather up the strong soldiers and inform them about the situation. The medics were also given a little bit information due to the possible danger of the operation. Levi managed to catch glimpses of the ginger haired nurse who was animatedly speaking to one of her colleagues, her smile made his heart skip a beat again, he had to mentally slap himself to remind him of the upcoming mission.

Before the arrival of the Elite team, Levi gathered up few soldiers assigning them under the leadership of his squad members and scouted the area where the possible attacks could occur. When the sun started to set they set off to lay down their traps, Levi planned for a guerilla warfare but looking at the barren land he knew that it would be impossible even if they were in disguise therefore they set out to dig pits. Most of the trenches had fallen down due to the impact of the explosions, one soldier revealed that there was one girl who was extremely talented with explosives, therefore if they were going to use the trenches they had to be careful with the possibility of being attacked with a grenade or a gas bomb. After setting up what they could before the crack of dawn the men retired back to their camp.

Ten huge jeeps were parked outside of the camp near the medical quarters, Levi and his squad had drove back to the quarters to greet the Elite squad. Commander Dot Pixis was a bald and ageing man but he was very up to date with the youths of the present. "Commander!" Levi yelled and saluted placing his right arm over his heart. Pixis nodded. "Captain Levi, it's nice to join you in another operation. This is ..." He pointed to the woman besides him. "Rico Brezsenka, my second in command." He saluted at her who likewise returned the salute by mentioning her name and rank, and then the rest of his squad went on to introduce themselves.

They set up the main base of the operation away from the camp since the enemy would obviously deduce that their main base would be the camp therefore they set up tents in a place more secluded. The research team too set their camps closer to the main base while the soldiers helped the soldiers from the elite squad to put up the tents. As Levi watched the soldiers a bad feeling started to grow inside him, it was as if some impending doom was to happen during the operation. After all this was no ordinary battle they were going to fight, Marley was a very cunning nation using the most barbaric ways to fight. Heck! They are even using child soldiers which was not good news at all.

Before the whole operation was executed Levi decided to take a stroll away from the reminder of war. Wearing his normal civilian clothings, he decided to visit the nearby dying village. The people of the village were slowly leaving to even better villages or towns. There were few shops open and they were owned by people who swore to die with the village. It was revealed by a fellow comrade that the village was evacuated due to the constant possibility of danger but some old people decided to wait and accept the fore coming dangers. Despite the village losing it's colour there was still something very much alive about it. The people smile and greet one another, treating their daily life just like another day despite knowing that few miles away it's a warzone. 

There was a particular tea shop which he had grown fond of, the old couple who owned the tea shop served the most excellent tea. Levi gave credit it to their refined taste on tea. He always made it a point to visit the tea shop whenever he had free time. Smiling at the thought of being old one day, he too wished to own a tea shop and live a quiet retired life with his loved one... in which he saw a certain ginger besides him. 

Feeling a tap on his shoulder he turned to look at the person who disturbed him from his reverie. Seeing the very ginger from his reverie, he felt heat creep his cheeks. Levi Ackerman and his infamous stoic face failed him at the presence of a mere woman. "Hello captain!" She smiled. Levi was shorter than an average male and sometimes it was rare to find a woman even shorter than him but here she was, the ideal height for him just so he could look down on her. He had his strength and body to showcase his manliness but with her he had his height.

"Petra." Her name escaped his lips. She giggled in response. "Are you visiting that tea shop? Mind if I join?" Having a company would not hurt and especially when it was her, how could he say no? Nodding his head he signaled her to start walking. They walked in silence and for him there was no discomfort. Glancing at her occasionally he caught her humming as she slightly skipped on their way as her arms were tied behind. The smile on her lips widened as she saw the old couple and sent them a wave with a bright smile. This itself was enough to calm Levi's nerves from the impending doom he was feeling.

"So, you love your tea?" Petra asked leaning forward and taking a sniff from her tea. Levi nodded his head and held the teacup from its rim earning a confused stare from her. "That's strange." She tired to mimic his move earning a slight chuckle from him. Her eyes widened as she looked at him with bewilderment. Now, totally confused and self conscious he looked elsewhere wanting to bury himself away from the embarrassment. He never ever smile nor laugh in front of anyone.

Then she giggled. "You should smile often. Don't need wrinkles on your handsome face." She stated making him blush even more. "Who knew the Humanity's Strongest can blush!" She muttered more to herself and it was to lighten the mood. When she had seen the captain, she had noticed how heavy his shoulders were. They were weighed with burdens and she wanted to take them off him. She wanted to help him some how and hearing details of their upcoming operation she knew that he must be worried about it.

She placed her chin on her palm and stared at him. "So, tell me about this weird way of holding your tea cup?" And so they were engaged in a conversation he never thought he was capable of. And soon it became a routine for the two as they constantly found time to visit the tea shop. Petra was his way of escaping the dangerous and mundane life of a soldier. But, his days for the operation was getting ticked off sooner as he spends time with her. For the first time in his life he wished he was not a soldier but too bad the day of doom was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of the flashback will be uploaded in few days. This care out way different than I imagined but still holds the story I wanted to tell haha. I hope this gave enough of what Levi is going through.


End file.
